Sunday, September 20, 2009

12 Slightly Less Well Known Labors of Hercules

To do the dishes after dinner instead of diverting a river through the kitchen.

To stop referring to problems as being of "his” proportions.

To pay attention to lesser beings regardless of electronic diversions.

To remember to water the plants instead of waiting for them to learn language and pray to him for rain.

To shake his fist or curse at bad drivers, instead of flinging them up into the heavens to become constellations.

To remember that foreplay doesn't mean penetration.

To sort laundry by color and treat hydra blood stains immediately.

To learn that veggie dinners are an acceptable substitute for lion steaks.

To stop using the excuse that he's favored by the gods to justify his obvious cheating at Yatzee.

To never refer to his sister-in-law as a lusty wench.

To smile and make conversation with his in-laws instead of cutting their heads off and burning the stumps so they won't grow back.

To remember that being half god means being half man.

(A similar version originally appeared at Cautionary Tales)


Glenn Buttkus said...

I did find that other version on Cautionary Tales, and posted it on FFTR. A few commenters dug it. Found a great graphic illustration of Herc to go with it. It is good that in the vast spectrum of your talent you never let levity or lust go lax. You write them as you see them, feel them, and imagine them; oh yeah.


CLBledsoe said...

Thanks for the comments. I revised this to fit in with a collection I'm working on.