Monday, March 12, 2012

Certain Climactic Scenes of Literature Retold with John McClane Playing a Pivotal Role, drafts

I've been working on this for a while, now. The problem I'm having is finding stories that actually work. I'm not sure exactly what makes them work, but some do and others definately don't.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain

A pair of slave catchers paddle their canoe out into the river. John McClane squints hard at the men and maneuvers the raft to ram them. He mutters, “All right, YOU go to hell!” The raft strikes the canoe, causing it to explode. John McClane and Jim are thrown to shore. As Jim attempts to stand, one of the slave catchers swims ashore and charges him. Jim freezes, but John McClane steps in and smacks the slave catcher in the head with a piece of wood.

“Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!” he says.

* * *

Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austin

At the Nethefield Ball, Elizabeth surreptitiously found a place beside Mr. Darcy. Each stood for some time without speaking a word. Elizabeth began to imagine the silence would last throughout the whole evening. She was hesitant to break it until she realized the greater punishment to her partner might be to force him to speak, and so she made some slight observation on the dance.

“It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy.”

“Some party. I didn’t know you celebrated Christmas in Japan.”

* * *

After John McClane dispatches the terrorists who seized the Nethefield Ball, John McClane first takes Elizabeth’s hand as they move through a country dance. Elizabeth feels something akin to electricity coursing through her veins. John McClane shows her his wedding ring.

“Just the dance, ma’am. Just the dance.”

* * *

I've written a couple others that work really well. So what I need are suggestions of books/stories to try. Any thoughts?


Sarah Tokeley said...

I don't have any suggestions right now, just wanted to thank you for the laugh :-)

CLBledsoe said...

Thanks Sarah!