A Review of Ben Tanzer's My Father's House

My Father’s House, a novella by Ben Tanzer. Charlotte, North Carolina: Main Street Rag Publishing Company, 2011. $9.95.


The narrator in Ben Tanzer’s novella likes to run, likes to feel the wind in his face, the pounding of his feet as he moves farther and farther away from what’s behind him. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings or his problems, though; he’d much rather run. And that’s an issue, because he’s having some problems. His father is dying of leukemia, and as the novella follows the family through attempt after attempt at treatment, each more desperate and with less chance of success, the narrator has to run more and more to escape his burgeoning realization that there’s no real hope for saving his father’s life. He also drinks, spends long nights away from his wife, and ignores things he maybe shouldn’t. But he keeps on running.

My Father’s House is a portrait of a man falling apart emotionally as his father falls apart physically. Tanzer explores the perspective of the son who is, at times, angry at his father’s past transgressions, terrified at his father’s looming probable death, and peering forward at a future beyond this scenario. The narrator balances his anger at his father with anger at himself. His father has always been a ‘tough guy’, which means he doesn’t talk about or show his feelings, and the narrator is determined to follow suit.

This novella is about relationships, from the narrator and his wife who suggests, at one point, having a child because it might be a good donor match for the dying patriarch, not realizing the weirdness and pressure she was putting on her husband by bringing this up; to the narrator and past friends he encounters during his many trips to visit the family. The narrator is aware of his actions and motivations. He doesn’t always act accordingly, but when he missteps, at least he knows it. This is a thoroughly modern character, who’s been to therapy, who’s left behind outdated stereotypes, and, similarly, Tanzer avoids outdated and clichéd tropes in his writing; his narrator may run to escape dealing with his feelings, but this isn’t a heavy-handed exercise in symbology; instead, the narrator is fully aware of what he’s doing and why he’s doing it.

Tanzer’s prose is clean and clear. He gets to the heart of each scene, each conflict, without wasting a moment. He also avoids melodrama in what could easily be an over-the-top book in less capable hands. Tanzer also places the novella in time with cultural references to movies, especially. It’s as though he’s saying that in the looming absence of a father, this narrator looks to the culture at large. Similarly, he doesn’t look to religion or some ethnic denotation for solace; he looks to film, which is an interesting insight into the mores of this generation.

Ben Tanzer’s novella is a good read, as are all of Tanzer’s books that I’ve come across. Tanzer is not-that-slowly building a strong body of work, demonstrating again and again that he’s a writer to keep track of.

-CL Bledsoe

Time Management

I was interviewed by a lady a while back who had aspirations to be a writer. I offered to read something of hers, and she replied that she didn't have anything new, what with work and everything. I politely let it go, but the truth is this is a bullshit statement. The truth is, this person isn't a writer and probably never will be. If you can't carve out some time to write regularly, well, you aren't going to write anything. If you don't write, you're not a writer. I'm not saying you have to write every day, though, really, if you want to build up a body of work you need to try to write on a fixed schedule. Raymond Carver said he would write on weekends when he was struggling to make ends meet -- he'd borrow a friend's office and hole up for a few hours to pound something out. What I'm saying is if you want to actually be a writer, you make it happen.

For me, it's kind of the opposite of Carver. I tend to be able to find some time during most weekdays -- maybe a lunch break, whatever -- whereas weekends and holidays are a struggle because I'd like to actually see my wife and daughter from time to time, though I still tend to write every day. I work as a teacher and college counselor, which means I'm very busy. I also have a baby. And yet, I manage to write SOMETHING just about every day, usually a thousand words. And I hear other folks talk about how much more they get done.

But my point isn't to scold folks for not writing every day, just the opposite. If it's a struggle for you to write regularly, don't bother. Give up the pipe dream. You're not a writer and you most likely never will be. Doesn't that make life easier? Now, you can watch TV or play video games or go out with your friends and not feel guilty. You're welcome.

Because the reality is writing isn't a chore. If you're a writer -- truly a writer -- it isn't a question of banging away at the keyboard as though you're going to the gym. It's the exact opposite. Writing is what you'd rather be doing when everything else gets in the way. And I don't mean that in a euphemistic way. Writing is a compulsion. When I don't write for a day or two, I feel it, physically. I get cranky. I feel stressed. I get headaches. But all I have to do is write, and I feel better. It's really most analogous to an addiction.

Only slightly less annoying (and frankly sad) is the complaint that "I don't have a good writing space." A writer can write anywhere. I've written locked in the bathroom at my in-laws. I've written on airplanes. I've written while children scream and play in the next room. I've written while my students worked on an assignment. I've written while driving (I usually pull over, but I can't always). Obviously, I'd prefer to write in a quiet room with a cup of tea, sitting in a comfortable chair, etc., and many times, I do just that, but I will also pound out a thousand words while I'm in my office waiting for a student to come to a meeting, or whenever I have some free time. I'm writing this while my wife puts our daughter to bed. My daughter is screaming and fussing because she wants to play, and I'm typing away.

As Billy Crystal's character said in Throw Mamma from the Train, "A writer writes. Always." So please, stop blogging about how you don't have time to blog. Stop writing about how you don't have time to write. Either write or don't. But don't try to guilt yourself into it. That's not how it works.