Friday, February 05, 2016

Transcript of a Bedtime Story

Me: Once upon a time there was a princess with curly hair--
E: Nuh-nuh-no-no-no. No curly hair. Straight hair. I don't want to be in any stories. I like to hear stories, but I don't want to be in any stories.
Me. Okay, once upon a time, there was a princess with straight hair who lived in a big city--
E: A town.
Me: A town--
E: that was full of princesses.
Me: Okay. And she was very sad because--
E: And some of the princesses were named Ava, and some were named Yahweh, and some were named Guinevere, and ChiChi, and five were named Bird.
Me: Okay, so, she was sad because her parents were very mean to her and made her do chores all the time--and, wait, I mean, she didn't mind the chores, they just wouldn't let her do what she wanted to do.
E: And she would get so mad at her sister for freezing everything over, she would cross her arms and make a mean face like this.
Me: Right. So, the town was full of princesses, so she was at school one day, and she met a prince.
E: Named Phillip.
Me: Named Phillip who looked sad. She saw how sad he was and went and asked what was wrong, and he said that he was looking for his brother who had been turned into a monkey by an evil wizard.
E: Nuh-nuh-no-no-no. His brother was... (launches into the plot of a movie we watched three weeks ago)...and she stomped through the ice and went down into the world of mermaids.
Me: Prince Phillip was sad because his brother had been turned into a monkey. "Have you seen a monkey anywhere?" he asked. But the princess said no. "But," she said, "I know where there's a monkey. Do you know where there are monkeys?"
E: South America.
Me: Yes. Also, the zoo. So she went to the zoo with the prince, and they saw the zebras and the pigs.
E: Nuh-nuh-no-no-no. His brother had been trapped inside an amulet and his whole country was in the amulet.
Me; They went to the monkey cage.
E; Amulet.
Me; And they looked at all the monkeys. But they didn't see the prince's brother.
E: Because he was trapped in the amulet.
Me: Then, the prince saw a monkey poke his head out of a tire swing, and there was the prince's brother, eating a banana. The prince was so happy, and his monkey brother came over and they played and went on the merry-go-round and had cotton candy. And when they were finished, they took the monkey back to his cage because he liked being a monkey and wanted to stay there. He said, "You can come play with me, and I'll stay here and eat bananas all day."
E: Then they went to get a wizard to turn him back to a prince.
Me: Okay. Then they got a wizard.
E; But they had to pay the wizard.
Me: Yes.
E: Tell that part.
Me: Okay, they had to pay the wizard to cast the spell. He said, "It will cost you $7." But all they had was quarters, but he said that was okay.
E; Tell that part.
Me: What part?
E; Where they give him the quarters.
Me; So, they count out the quarters, and the wizard is happy because they're really shiny quarters. So, they all go to the zoo.
E: And the monkey's bored.
Me: Right, the monkey is sitting in his tire swing, and when he sees them, he runs right up and says, "I'm bored of being a monkey because I ran out of bananas. I want to be a boy again." So the wizard turns him back into a boy. Poof!
E; And the hugs the wizard, but he touches his wand, and it turns him back into a monkey.
Me: Okay.
E; And the wizard turns him back into a boy, and he hugs him again and turns back into a monkey and the wizard has to turn him back into a boy.
Me: Right. So then everyone is happy and they have cotton candy.
E: And the wizard poisons the cotton candy--
Me: No.
E: And they all get sick.
Me: Nope. They all are happy and have fun at the zoo.
E: Until...
Me: Nope. The end.
E: But the evil sister...
Me: Good night!

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